LM, Episode 259, 8/1/20, Saturday Morning Live
LM, Episode 258, 7/31/20
Since Typhoid Twyla tested positive for the coronavirus, I have been doing most of the cooking. I haven’t done this much cooking since the summer Maggie and her husband, Justin, bought their house in Cincinnati.
Twyla and I went there for ten days to help remodeling. We’re working 12 hours a day. The first night we sleep on an inflatable bed which, about 3 am, develops a flat, but we’re too tired to get up. We didn’t even have internet. Even in the caves of Tora Bora, Osama Bin Laden had the internet
I don’t like being dirty, yet I’m doing the dirties job of all, removing 80 year old plaster. I look like a donut covered in power sugar, yet Twyla, Maggie, and Justin look fresh as a daisy. When I ask why, Twyla says, “Well, Justin and I are running wire, Maggie is painting, your only skill seems to be destruction.”
After ten days, I’m parolled and get to go home. Maggie is coming to Kansas City with me as she is working at the Heart of America Shakespeare Company. Twyla stays for three more weeks to finish the wiring with Justin. When Maggie and I get home, I tell her, “Listen, I can cook well enough to keep us alive, but if you want a good meal, I’d go to a restaurant with your friends. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be here enjoying the internet.”
Have a great weekend and always remember laughter matters.
LM, Episode 257, 7/30/20
Five weeks ago Twyla tested positive for the coronavirus. Even though her work has been wearing masks and cleaning hands, a co-worker came to work sick and infected Twyla and three of her students.
That first day, my thoughts ran wild. It’s scary because people are taking their loved ones to the hospital and never seeing them again, they are dying alone. By that evening I had her with one foot in the grave. She said, “Kent, relax, I’m still alive tonight.”
“Oh, that’s supposed to make me feel better?”
Twyla’s symptoms have been light, slight fever, trouble sleeping, fatigue and I tested negative, but for the past five weeks she continues testing positive and we don’t know the long-term effects. I continue having plenty of moments of worry, but Twyla’s words, “She’s still alive today,” do comfort me.
Please take this seriously, wear a mask, wash your hands, and socially distance. The only positive thing that has come from this is I have a new name for her because Typhoid Twyla knows laughter matters.
LM, Episode 256, 7/29/20
Last week, in episode 249, I told about our grandson, Kai, asking if I thought the captain of the Titanic thought, “I’ve lived long enough.”
After he listened to it, I asked if he remembered it. He texted back, “Yes, I remember, but the question still stands about the captain.”
That makes me laugh every time I think of it. That boy seems to realize laughter matters.
LM, Episode 255, 7/28/20, Do You Know Maggie’s Dad? He says Middle Finger
After I used the joke that my children’s names are Keith and Keith’s Sister a second time, my friend, Maureen, said she wanted to see something about Maggie and Maggie’s Brother, but this is the best I can do.
Our daughter, Keith’s Sister, no, Maggie attended my alma mater, William Jewell College in Liberty, MO. At her freshman orientation, we ran into my economics professor, Dr. Cook. When Maggie told him she was going to major in theater, he says, “Well, you’ll need something to fall back on.”
For four years, when I was on campus, people would introduce me as Maggie’s dad. “Wait, I graduated from her, I have a name.”
When I comment that I like the men’s, capri pants Maggie’s college boyfriend, Chris, was wearing, he says, “Thank you, but my fraternity brother make fun of them.”
I go, “Tell them, ‘Hey, do you know Maggie’s dad? He says F YOU,’ but I said the profane expression. Chris reported it worked beautifully. He was able to retaliate, yet, I as the one being mean.
Maggie and Chris told their friends. Soon all of their friends are saying it in confrontations, although one of Maggie’s religious friends modified it to, “Hey, do you know Maggie’s dad? He says middle finger.”
Her senior year I was on campus and when someone introduced me as Maggie’s dad, the person I was being introduced to goes, “He says F YOU.” Not my most proud moment.
At Maggie’s graduation, Dr. Cook approached me, saying, “Kent, When Maggie said she was going to be a theater major, I told her she needed something to fall back on, but I recently saw her perform. I was wrong. She’ll be fine.”
At that moment I couldn’t have been more proud to be Maggie’s dad.