LM1020 Ben Franklin is Rolling Over in His Grave

LM, Episode 1020, 9/27/22, Ben Franklin is Rolling Over in His Grave

I know the postal service in America is struggling, but ours may be the worst Post Office in the country.  A few years ago they lost our daughter, Maggie’s, wedding invitations.  

Our regular postman retired in February, believe me, it was time, he was very grumpy, but we have gone from daily delivery to getting mail once or twice a week.  Recently someone mailed me a check from Chicago, 300 miles away, it took three weeks to get here.  The Pony Express delivered mail 2,000 miles in half that time.

This week I went to mail something in our Post Office’s blue, mail, dropbox and there’s a sign over the slot reading, “Out of Order.”  How does something with no mechanical parts break?

It seems thieves are stealing dropbox keys from postal employees, then stealing mail from the dropbox, washing the checks clean, and selling blank checks online.  This seems to me like a lot more work than just getting a job. 

There is speculation that organized crime is behind it.  I guess prostitution and drugs aren’t as profitable as they once were, but these problem will further erode people’s faith in the Post Office, which will continue to decrease their revenue which has been decimated by online banking and email.

If I had an answer for saving America’s postal service, I wouldn’t have to do this for a living, but I bet Ben Franklin is rolling over in his grave right now.

If you are enjoying Laughter Matters, please recommend it to your friends and leave me a review on Amazon, Spotify, or wherever you listen to it.  Take care and always remember laughter matters.

LM1019 Get The Hell Out of My Way

LM, Episode 1019, 9/26/22, Replay Episode #507, Get The Hell Out of My Way

Last week I reconnected with a guy named Kent Hanan who I worked with at Russell Stover Candies years ago.  Kent and I have lots in common.  We attended the same college a year apart, we’re both accountants, and we both love laughing.

Every morning for the year we worked together, we would adjourn to a restaurant in the lobby of the building for our coffee break.  We agreed those were some of the most fun times we ever had at a job.

Kent worked with an accountant named Tim.  Tim believed he was just biding his time until his exceptional talents would be noticed by the owner of Russell Stover Candies, Mr. Ward, and he’d be moved to the executive floor above us.

Try as he might, Mr. Ward never noticed Tim, until one day Tim excitedly reported to Kent he’d had his first encounter with Mr. Ward on the elevator.  When Kent asked what Mr. Ward had said, Tim responded, “He said, ‘get the hell out of my way.”’

There was an executive, Mr. Michaelis, on our floor.  Mr. Michaelis was always impeccably dressed.  One day Kent notices Mr. Michaelis has dirt on his forehead and when Kent mentions this to Mr. Michaelis’s secretary, she says it’s Ash Wednesday.  Being as much of a heathen as me, Kent says, “Okay, but he still has dirt on his forehead.”

Kent and I talked about some of the awful jobs we had over the year, but I was happy to hear he was happily working for Hilton Hotels.  Kent said he told his boss he wished he’d found Hilton earlier in his career so he could give them 30 years of service instead of the few he has remaining.

I told Kent Hilton is my favorite hotel chain because of their service and he confirmed what I long suspected.  Hilton understands their customer relations mirror their employee relations because, as customer service expert, Emily Yellen, observes, it is virtually impossible for an employee who feels mistreated to care about your customers.  Today on Management Monday I hope you will follow the example of Hilton and treat your employees as you want them to treat your customers. 

Kent and I spent two hours laughing at our reminiscing, remembering that Tim never made it to the executive floor, getting fired not long after his encounter with Mr. Ward.  We agreed to keep in touch and I believe we will because we both believe laughter matters.

LM1018 God Save The Queen

LM, Episode 1018, 9/25/22, God Save The Queen

Right up front I want to apologize to everyone from Great Britain and two of the people on the List of 37 Friends, Lydia and Andy, for this piece.  I hope all of you remember how much laughter matters.

This week Queen Elizabeth was finally buried after ten days of having her body paraded around Great Britain like it’s Weekend at Bernies.   

That is a recycled joke I wrote a few years ago.  I was working at Zanies Comedy Club in Chicago the week the Cubs announcer and former Cubs third baseman, Ron Santo, died.  His body lay in repose at a church for mourners to pay their respects, but every afternoon they’d load him up in a hearse and drive him around Wrigley Field.  I knew this because the local TV stations would carry coverage of it live.

One night I told one of the comedians on the show that I was going to do a joke that they’re treating Ron Santo like it’s Weekend at Bernies driving him all over town. He says, “I wouldn’t do it if I were you because they love Ron Santo.”

I didn’t listen to the warning and did it anyway.  The only thing I could hear above the boos was that comedian in the back of the room laughing.  

Have a great Sunday and always remember laughter matters.

LM1017 Saturday Morning Live

Saturday Morning Live

LM1016 My Pillow

LM, Episode 1016,9/23/22, My Pillow

I don’t care how comfortable his pillows are, I can’t imagine My Pillow CEO, Mike Lindell sleeping very well these days.  Last week the FBI tracked him down at a Hardies drive thru and confiscated his phone.  Lindell says the FBI told him not to talk about it, but our son, Keith, thinks he’s just confused by the Miranda Rights.  

This week a judge decided the defamation case for the election lies Lindell spread against the voting machine company, Smartmatic, could proceed. 

A cornerstone of democracy is candidates accepting the results of free and fair elections.  There were over 60 lawsuits after the 2020 election and none produced any evidence that the election was stolen.  

Predictably, now there are a dozen Republican governor and senate candidates who refuse to say if they will accept the election result if they lose.  It worked for the former president,why not try it yourself.  Maybe if Lindell, Giuliana, and the former president are punished for their election lies, candidates in the future will see there are consequences for this behavior and American democracy will continue.

Have a great weekend and always remember laughter matters.